Men always try to make virtues of their weaknesses. Fear of death and fear of life both become piety.
Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes a large part of that power to safeguard bad work.
Women hate revolutions and revolutionists. They like men who are docile, and well-regarded at the bank, and never late at meals.
In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
The course of the United States in World War II, I said, was dishonest, dishonorable, and ignominious, and the Sunpapers, by supporting Roosevelt's foreign policy, shared in this disgrace.
Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master.
The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable.
No government is ever really in favor of so-called civil rights. It always tries to whittle them down. They are preserved under all governments, insofar as they survive at all, by special classes of fanatics, often highly dubious.
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
The editors are committed to nothing save this: to keep common sense as fast as they can, to belabor sham as agreeably as possible, to give civilized entertainment.
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
The average man never really thinks from end to end of his life. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of clichés.
Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her.
If experience teaches us anything at all, it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
There is no possibility whatsoever of reconciling science and theology, at least in Christendom. Either Jesus arose from the dead or He didn't. If he did, then Christianity becomes plausible; if He did not, then it is sheer nonsense. I defy any genuine scientists to say that he believes in the Resurrection, or indeed in any other cardinal dogma of the Christian system.
The value the world sets upon motives is often grossly unjust and inaccurate.
Not by accident, you may be sure, do the Christian Scriptures make the father of knowledge a serpent - slimy, sneaking and abominable.
It is only doubt that creates. It is only the minority that counts.
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum.
What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: He gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell.
The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
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