I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
To define is to limit.
I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after.
Just be your self. Everybody else is already taken.
Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.
If you cannot prove a man wrong, don't panic. You can always call him names.
People may fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame someone else. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
The great events of the world take place in the brain.
Two men look out a window. One sees mud, the other sees the stars.
It is perfectly possible to get what you think you want and be miserable. It's possible too, to never get it but deeply enjoy the process of trying. In this world, there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
A passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young.
Don't be discouraged if your children reject your advice. Years later they will offer it to their own offspring.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
A good friend will always stab you in the front.
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won't be invited to cocktail parties.
Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
Learn to differentiate between ignorance and stupidity.
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