A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
Know what you're doing, love what you're doing, and believe in what you're doing.
Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
Never miss a chance to shut up
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
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